Talk About Crazy.

I'm not going to lie to you. This semester, especially in this present moment, is becoming extremely overwhelming. Being behind in my schoolwork, missing home, feeling like I didn't adequately transition from summer into sophomore year... not sure I planned this out very well. Maybe I should've taken that last week of camp off and given myself time to be with family and relax before the madness of school began. Either way, I'm here now, barely past mid-semester and I've got to find some way to cope. I can either be down about it and rough through it or make the most of it and rough through it. Seems like the latter is the better choice cut out for me.

The more life I've been through, the more I feel like I've reached the end of my rope and arrived at a place where I cannot go any further without God. Here I am again, in that same moment. Needing God, needing rest, needing peace.

The enemy likes to take anything that's good and warp it into something twisted and wicked. Being future-minded can easily cause us to be less-than-present and miss out on the opportunities before us. Being an extrovert can easily lead us into getting so caught up in social life that one gets burnt out, or in my case, leave you feeling like you've got less of those "deep and meaningful friendships" that you'd hoped for. There's a shadow side to every "strength" (APU loves talking about the Strengths-Finder Test, as do I; ask anyone who goes here about the former), a snare that awaits us in each good thing if we're not careful. I'm not telling you this to make you paranoid; I'm telling you this to make you aware. There's no need to worry about it; just be knowledgable so you can avoid any traps or pitfalls that you may easily fall into.

There's a song by Tenth Avenue North titled "Don't Stop the Madness" that fits my life pretty well at the moment. Although it portrays a prayer that typically does not get prayed, it's one that I'm striving to live by, one that gives me hope that God will use the madness and the chaos in my life for something good. The lyrics read:

There’s a beggar down inside of me
Standing on the corner of your street
And my shame is my only company
Could use some cash but can’t admit my need
For what You got and what I could receive
I need Your love to come and break the silence

Don’t stop the madness
Don’t stop the chaos
Don’t stop the pain surrounding me
Don’t be afraid, Lord, to break my heart
Just bring me down to my knees, yeah

But all I hear is what they’re selling meThat God is love, He isn’t suffering
And what you need’s a little faith in prosperity
But oh, my God, I know there’s more than this
If You promise pain, it can’t be meaningless
So make me poor if that’s the price for freedom

Don’t stop the madnessDon’t stop the chaos
Don’t stop the pain surrounding me
Don’t be afraid, Lord, to break my heart
If it bring me down to my knees, yeah

In a marriage lostAnd the cry in the dark
Don’t stop with Your love
In a mother’s tear
For the child who starves
Don’t stop with Your love
When we’re breaking down
We’re falling apart
Don’t stop with Your love
And with new eyes to see
This is Your mercy
Don’t stop with Your love

Don’t stop the madnessDon’t stop the chaos
Don’t stop the pain inside of me
Do whatever it takes to give me Your heart
And bring me down to my knees, Lord
Don’t stop, don’t stop
Just bring me down to my knees, Lord

And that's the prayer I want to pray on a daily basis. Don't stop the madness, Lord. Bring me to my knees, for in light of You... I can do all things and live life abundantly.