The week before last was completely insane. I crammed all my research for a major paper into one day, attempted to visit a non-profit for a project only to get a flat tire on the way, helped present for Common Day of Learning on adjusting to your home culture after having a cross-cultural experience, dealt with the craziness of "Decision Day" and began to figure everything out that getting R.A. would have taken care of, and had tons of other homework. Needless to say it was a lot.
At church on Sunday my pastor made a point during his sermon, that it wasn't about success or failure, but being obedient and faithful to God.
In chapel the next day the speaker shared her story of how she came to L.A. to pursue a career in the film industry, ending with the point that it wasn't about success or failure, but being obedient and faithful to God.
At the commissioning service for Mexico on Tuesday night the speaker shared a few things, ending on the note that it wasn't about success or failure, but being obedient and faithful to God. Okay, God, I get it. Clearly You're trying to tell me something. But I as strived to figure out how it tied in with my present circumstances, I failed to do so. It just didn't click... yet.
In my leadership class on Wednesday evening we began with a devotional from My Utmost for His Highest, as we usually did. Although in different words, the premise of it was that it wasn't about success or failure, but being obedient and faithful to God. I laughed when I heard it.
By the end of the week I was exhausted. I was beyond over school and ready to get away from the busyness and chaos of college life. I anticipated my week in Mexico being the thing I needed most, with me coming back refreshed and recharged. I didn't want to have too many expectations, however, as I know things don't always go as we plan or want them to be. So I threw off all expectations as I went into the trip.
I was one of the drivers for my team, which I thoroughly enjoyed as I don't get to drive when I'm at school and I love driving. Of course the most difficult part was finding the balance between following speed limits and staying with your caravan; the two didn't always coincide. I had the same issues driving home. I don't think I've ever prayed so much before, but sure enough, God protected us. No tickets or accidents. Hallelujah! ;)
Our first full day in Mexico, Sunday, was spent making a Walmart run and hanging out at base camp most of the day. There was plenty team bonding, which was much needed. Although it was difficult at first, being in Mexico and "not doing anything," I was grateful for it. Always good connecting with those you're serving with before you go out and do ministry.
Monday through Thursday were spent at the orphanage, Agua de Vida. Definitely one of the coolest ministries I've ever been able to witness. There are somewhere between 25 and 30 kids who live there, ranging from the age of infant to 17. Although most of them come from difficult pasts and rough circumstances, they take care of each other. They defend each other at school and help out around the orphanage. I have no doubt that being raised in a Godly environment helps this. Mario and Veronica Santos, the couple who started the orphanage, have incredible hearts. They've been obedient to God's calling on their lives and give it their all. Mario is American and Veronica is Mexican; they married 25 years ago, spent their first 15 years of marriage in Southern California, then took their three kids and moved to Mexico to start the orphanage. It's now been 10 years. I can't tell you the number of stories they have about God's miraculous provision. Incredible stories.
At the beginning of the week I felt distracted, not present. Monday night we spent some time in prayer and saw every thing we had prayed for come to fruition not just the next day but all week. The weather cooled off. We had strength and energy like we hadn't had before. We were filled with incredible joy. It was so much and so good. We spent most of our time at the orphanage hanging out with the kids. It wasn't us going in and implementing our own plans but rather being present and witnessing the things already going on. Although it could have been difficult we quickly became okay with that. It was such a blessing. At the end of the week, however, we did throw a birthday party for a sweet girl named Sarai. She was turning 10. We had a piñata, played games, and ended the day with cake and "Happy Birthday." It was cool seeing the kids open up as the week went on. Their unique personalities began to show, all the more amazing seen in light of the hardships they had been through.
It wasn't until I was home Friday night, talking to my grandma, that it finally clicked. Everything God had been speaking to me the week before finally made sense. Initially, and even throughout the week, I felt frustrated because I felt like I relationally "failed" with the kids. I didn't get close with any of them and because of it it wasn't too difficult saying goodbye. I felt like it should have been and that frustrated me. "It's not about success or failure, but being obedient and faithful to God." Failure, however we define it, doesn't matter. The point is that we made ourselves available, were willing, and present. I was able to end my time in Mexico feeling joyful and full of peace because it's not about me and my own "successes." It's never been about either of those; it's about God and doing what we're called to do.
The expectations I had thrown off about getting close with my team were also blown out of the water. I left every expectation behind yet was blessed with a team that was fun to be with, authentic and transparent, and strives to live like Christ. We hung out the night we got back and are planning to do so this coming weekend as well. Even if we didn't though and the only time we were together was in Mexico, that would've been enough. Again, it's not about success or failure, in whatever sense, but being obedient and faithful.
When that is enough you are truly free.
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Check out a video highlighting my time in Mexico:
Vimeo: http://vimeo.com/89218344
YouTube: http://youtu.be/ciOBFCKOrrg
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