Obviously I haven't blogged for a while. The last time I wrote was when I was in Israel, just after a two-week study tour of the Holy Land. I recapped the second week of the tour and the beginning of the dig, and although I didn't recap the first week of the tour I promised I'd do so later. I intend on keeping my word, but for now, it'll have to wait. The last few months have involved much contemplation, introspection, and figuring out how to bridge the gap between who I am now and who I want to be. It's an endeavor we should all pursue no matter where we find ourselves in life. I must admit though that it might be a little bit easier to do (or maybe it's more difficult) when you're in your senior year of college, six months away from being thrust into the world of "real life" and "real adulthood."
The season I've been in for the past few months has been an interesting one. One of the biggest challenges I have faced has been decision making. Some of you may laugh at this, especially knowing how indecisive I can be--but it's a season that's been less than pleasant yet entirely necessary. It's been a season where I have had myriad opportunities before me, from the "little" things like getting involved at church to the "big" things like figuring out what I'm going to do after college. As I've prayed through, meditated on, and consulted others about the many decisions before me, God hasn't been giving me many answers. However, although there's been much silence, it's not a silence that says, "Continue to wait and seek My will," but rather a silence that says, "I don't care what you do. All of these things are in My will and it's up to you to decide which path you want to take."
I think God does that often. As crazy as it may sound, He actually trusts us. If you're as indecisive as I am, that's scary. How in the world can God trust me if I hardly trust me? And that's where we have to trust God as He trusts us. If we're seeking God and His will He will make Himself known in His time. His answer to our prayers may be "yes," "no," "not yet," or "I've got something better." However, there may be a fifth answer, an answer that says, "it's up to you." He invites us to participate with Him in His will, His purposes, and His kingdom.
This reminds me of Genesis 18, where Abraham intercedes for Sodom. According to the text, God intends to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah for their wickedness, yet Abraham intercedes on behalf of the few righteous that may be within the city. It's almost as if he changes God's mind. Let me stop and briefly address the theological issue we confront here. Who God is never changes. However, God's actions, what God does, may change. Does this mean that God Himself changes? Not at all. What God does is always consistent with who He is. In the case of Abraham, it is not that he is changing God; God is open to Abraham's petitions because He is in relationship with Abraham and that is what true, loving relationships are like. Both parties listen to each other and serve one another. It wouldn't be a true, loving relationship if God was not concerned with Abraham and his petitions. [As far as the notion of God destroying a city is concerned, I don't have time to unpack it here. I'll address it by saying that that narrative reflects Israel's history as they understood it and the theological beliefs Israel had about God. God was for them, for sure, but we must also read this text in light of the story of Christ and the overarching cause and purposes of God throughout history.]
God trusts us. His will isn't dependent upon us and what we do (or don't do), yet He desires and chooses to use us anyway. As we go through life, as we go through different seasons and phases of life, it's inevitable that we will have many decisions to make, some easy and simple and others difficult and complex. God's answers may vary, from "yes" to "no," from "not yet" to "I have something better." Yet there may be a fifth answer, one less talked about and perhaps much more difficult: "it's up to you. Either way you're in My will and I trust you regardless of the decision you make."
So, the question I leave you with is this: do you trust God?
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